I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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