Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
