Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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