We named our party play list daddy issues
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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