Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
