xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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