he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
