After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
