Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
