he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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