I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
