there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
