come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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