my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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