people are starting to question the shark bite story
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
how does that bad decision feel?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
