im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
