there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
