I wish i was in the wii world.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
