i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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