dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
