So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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