im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
my poor anus
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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