She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
as a side note pls kill me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
