for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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