Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My nipple is on Facebook.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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