One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
