She's JV to your varsity
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
