Only a mothe r could love this liver
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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