u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
