I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
