people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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