I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
