after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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