Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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