Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
