you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
