I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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