I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
