16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
