my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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