do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
