Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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