actually, I'm a sock model
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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