Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
