i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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