how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
