I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
