he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
