you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
