I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize