So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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