So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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