I bet he comes in French.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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