I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
