This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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