i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
