Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Too much gin, very little bucket
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
They have beer where we have blood.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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