so that wasnt chicken after all
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
